Visions of Parenthood


(3 days before my due date, June 2006)

Last week I went to see my ob/gyn for a routine check up. As I sat in the waiting area, I noticed quite a few couples coming in and out. Some looked obviously pregnant; others didn’t. Usually, though, when a spouse or partner is joining for a visit to your ob/gyn, it could mean a baby is on the way!

Seeing all of the expectant parents made me reflect on my own pregnancy with Arizona, 9 years ago. When I first found out I was having a baby, I was shocked! Even though it wasn’t planned, I felt ready. I grew up in a large family and loved everything about kids. I wanted to have at least 4 of my own. When people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said ”A Mommy!” without hesitation.

As I was pregnant with Arizona, I began to dream about my new life. I had visions of taking my sweet, coo-ing and perfectly poised baby everywhere. I just KNEW everyone would marvel at my spectacular creation and, of course, give me full credit for my outstanding mothering skills.

My reality ended up being the exact opposite of what I had envisioned for myself. I had a colicky baby who was bothered by everything and cried and fussed around the clock. I was miserable and so was my child.

Fast forward many years, discoveries, therapies and AHA moments later, and here I stand – a very proud Mommy of an amazingly special child. I am grateful for this journey because of who I am today.

How did you envision parenthood in the beginning? How did that picture shift once reality set in?

2 Comments on “Visions of Parenthood”

  1. I can’t even begin to tell you how it changed for me…Breastfeeding was horrible! There was no bonding going on at all! I was crying and so was my son…I wasn’t prepared for the fact that it does not go well for everyone…My son cried a lot as well. I also didn’t and still don’t have the family support that I thought I would.


  2. I know — I can so relate! I kept thinking, “What am I doing wrong —?” Was your son the firstborn? Did you have experience being a Mom already or was this your first experience?


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