Feeling Funky


(Not every day is SUNNY, sometimes it rains)

I recently read an article that touched me so deeply, I was inspired to write a post about what it brought up for me. My sister texted the link to me the other day, along with the note : this article – i was bawling. it is so good.

Sometimes I like to tell myself that I am just really sensitive, or that I know how to access my emotions or that I have learned the tools to allow myself to really feel. While all of these things may be true, the reality is that sometimes I am just really sad.

When Arizona was born, I experienced a few weeks of the “baby blues.” It was a period of unexplainable sadness about this new transition in my life, coupled with severe lack of sleep and a very colicky baby. When Arizona was 3 months old, however, my blues took a sharp downward spiral into the deep, dark abyss of postpartum depression. It was terrifying to me because I had never experienced feelings of sadness to such an overwhelming magnitude. I was especially fearful because I didn’t know what help I needed or how to get it.

It’s interesting when I look back at that period in my life now; it’s almost as if I had to experience the depths of that pain in order TO ask for help. If it had been bad but not debilitating, I might have just trudged through it, telling myself – “Hey, it’s life, I gotta get through this somehow.”

I am grateful that I was able to find the right treatment to survive that horrific time. It also helped me recognize and manage future episodes of depression before they pulled me down and out.

In the special needs world, I don’t know any parent who hasn’t suffered from periods of sadness and depression. Sometimes it hits right after receiving a diagnosis for your child. Sometimes it plays out years later when you’re experiencing other transitions in life and realize it’s all too much for you to bear.

We all have our own ways of helping ourselves through these moments of funk. My go to rituals for healing include : writing in my journal, calling a girlfriend, having really authentic sessions with my coach and spiritual counselor, exercising, having a nice glass of wine, sometimes taking medication.

Whatever it is, know that you are not alone. Yes, life “happens” all the time, but that doesn’t mean we have to persevere through it without whatever help we may need.

7 Comments on “Feeling Funky”

  1. Thanks for the link – I really enjoyed that article and your blog. We need to keep removing the stigma of mental health issues!!

    Avril Martin, CID The Silver Lining (310) 365-6464 http://www.the-silver-lining.com

    On Sun, Jan 31, 2016 at 9:32 PM, Susanna Peace Lovell wrote:

    > mamapeace posted: ” (Not every day is SUNNY, sometimes it rains) I > recently read an article that touched me so deeply, I was inspired to write > a post about what it brought up for me. My sister texted the link to me the > other day, along with the note : this article – i was b” >

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree 5000%! And still – so many people don’t want to talk about it. I hope to help change that, especially within motherhood.


  2. Ahhhh yes!! You are preaching to the choir my friend. Raw and well written. The message is so true for all mothers -especially since we are often defined as the ‘nurturing parent’ Early motherhood is exhausting, and the sense of losing yourself -your autonomy, is even more frightening -especially when you have a whaling baby screaming “this is all wrong mama!” Been there! I was in denial of my depression because I was afraid to go ‘there.’ When I look back, I can see that I could have definitely used some more girlfriend/mom support. However, I do feel blessed to have had the time with my children to learn them and love them into the amazing people they’ve become and to settle into myself as ‘mama’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We are so hard on ourselves sometimes — I wish we didn’t always feel like we have to “do it all” — ALL THE TIME! Thank you for the support — love you, GIRL xoxo


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